Jane Austen, Colombian drug lords and Crocodile Dundee

As I have written elsewhere, I do not have Jane’s confidence that the story of two people (or two couples) in love can provide enough plot to sustain a novel. I’m writing a book called either Jane, Actually (or Jane Austen’s Book Tour) that imagines a present-day Jane Austen about to begin the book tour for her completed Sanditon. She is that Jane from Hampshire born in 1775 and she is dead but not a vampire or zombie. If you are one of the five six people who have read my book Good Cop, Dead Cop, you’ll understand how this is possible.

I’ve already written much of it and as you might guess, Jane, Actually involves a complicated premise that will seem very science fiction, but ultimately the plot boils down to two couples in love. Or that’s what the plot should be except for my worry, expressed best by my particular friend Lee, that it’s not enough. She is forever complaining of and puzzled by my fascination with Austen: “nothing ever happens.” This is a criticism she also levels at My Particular Friend, for which she was a proofreader.

That, of course, is not my impression of Austen’s novels; the books have just enough plot, even though the plot can be mostly summarized by girl meets boy, girl and boy misunderstand each other, girl goes on long, long visits to Bath or London, girl and boy reconcile. (Admittedly Emma’s plot it is different.)

For my own book, however, I cannot shake the feeling that something more is required. Some McGuffin is required to keep things moving, either compromising letters, a silver cow creamer or the identity of Keyser Söze. But I try to remember the mistake of Crocodile Dundee II and the Colombian drug lords.

If you recall the original Crocodile Dundee (and if you came of age during the ’80s, you probably do), that movie’s plot was remarkably Austen like in its simplicity: girl meets boy, girl misunderstands boy’s silent, simple ways, boy goes to America for a long visit, girl and boy reconcile when girl realizes her fiancé is a crashing bore. Yes, there are any number of set pieces that hint there might be a larger plot — “That’s a knife!” — but they only serve the very simple plot and the amazing climax on the subway platform.

But in Crocodile Dundee II, they introduce the Colombian drug lords because the characters haven’t fallen out of love so the only way to create tension is with the silly Colombian cartel plot that also provides an excuse to send the characters back to Australia. The producers/director/writer have no faith that the simple plot of the first movie will suffice.

I suppose this post is nothing but an effort to reassure myself — despite the mockery of my friend Lee — that Jane, Actually can survive with a simple plot: disembodied Regency author meets disembodied World War I Tommy; they misunderstand each other; she goes on world book tour and meets Colin Firth; and they reconcile at the JASNA AGM. What could be simpler?

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